


Long Distance Call

by wintershelter



Category: Marvel (Comics), Marvel Ultimates
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Earth-3490, F/M, Hopeful Ending, M/M, Multiverse, Past Relationship(s), natasha stark is bisexual, tony tries to sleep with nat and steve surprising absolutely no one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-27
Updated: 2018-08-27
Packaged: 2019-07-03 09:04:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,095
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15815763
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wintershelter/pseuds/wintershelter
Summary: "Welcome to Earth 3490. I'm Natasha Stark."Tony took the proffered hand and gave her a once over nearly kicking himself for not noticing their eerie resemblance sooner, the jawline alone really should have tipped him off. "Stark, huh? Well, I always knew I would've made a fine looking woman."Wherein, Natasha and Tony have a chat about the differences between their worlds, their past relationships and, of course, Steve.





	Long Distance Call

**Author's Note:**

> Takes place shortly after the events of Ultimates #2

Tony woke up with a pounding headache. God, it had been a long while since he'd woken up with a hangover.  
  
Just exactly how much had he had to drink last night?  
  
He was about to roll over in favor of going back to sleep when he heard the low whine of a repulsor above him and his eyes shot open. There was a striking woman in a three piece suit with black hair and bright blue eyes standing over him. The gauntleted hand was steady and aimed at his head.  
  
"Who the hell are you and just what are you doing in my lab?" The woman demanded in a cool voice.  
  
Tony lifted his head up, eyebrows furling. "Your lab?"

“Yes. My lab.”  
  
Tony looked around in confusion and, yeah this lab wasn't one of his. It was sort of familiar in an odd way but he'd definitely never been here before.  
  
“I'm actually a little offended you stole my tech but have no idea who I am.” Tony said with a shrug. “The name's Tony Stark and you're currently using my repulsor tech.”  
  
"Stark?" She asked, face shifting to a confused expression.  
  
"Yes, that's my name darling. Don't wear it out." Tony quipped with a wink.  
  
Natasha glared at him. "FRIDAY, scan his radiation signature."  
  
Tony sat up, bristling a bit. "That's a bit personal, seeing as I still don't know your name."  
  
There was a beep overhead and a soft female voice rang out. "Scan complete. Radiation frequencies are consistent with Earth 1610."  
  
Tony blinked “Earth 1610?"  
  
The woman powered down and lowered the gauntlet, offering her other hand out to him. "I take it this is your first time dealing with the multiverse?” At his silence, she continued. “Well, Tony. Welcome to Earth 3490. I'm Natasha Stark."  
  
Tony took the proffered hand and gave her a once over nearly kicking himself for not noticing their eerie resemblance sooner, the jawline alone really should have tipped him off. "Stark, huh? Well, I always knew I would've made a fine looking woman."  
  
Natasha gave him an amused look, pulling him to his feet with surprising strength. “You aren't so bad yourself.” She smirked at him briefly before she turned back to her computer. “So, the good news is since I have your radiation signature I know where to send you back home. The bad news is it'll take a few hours to calibrate the machine to do so.”

“Okay.” Tony said with a nod, walking over to Natasha's work desk. “So, how does this multiverse machine work? Actually, can we back up to the multiverse in general and what you know about it?”

“You're taking this remarkably well.” Natasha observed, gesturing for him to pull up a chair next to her.

Tony gave her a wide grin as he sat down in the rolling chair and wheeled it over. “This is hardly the weirdest thing that's happened to me. Besides, it's not all bad news with such pleasant company as your own.”

Natasha laughed. “You're quite the charmer aren't you?”

“So, I've been told.” Tony said with an easy smile.

Natasha turned back to the computer screen, explaining to Tony what she knew of the multiverse and how to the machine worked. It was easy to see how intelligent of a woman she was. She held herself so confidently and looked so sure of herself, even in this situation and Tony couldn't help but admire his counterpart.

When Natasha had answered all of Tony's questions and all that was left to do was to let the machine charge up, Tony and Natasha took a seat on the couch in the corner of the lab to learn about each other's respective worlds.

Natasha had gotten up to get them both a can of coke when Tony called out. “Do you have any rum to go with it?”

Natasha immediately stiffened from where she was standing. “No. I don't drink.” She said evenly before handing Tony his coke and sitting down without another word.

Tony could guess well enough from his own experiences what had provoked that response and moved to change the subject before he put his foot in his mouth and upset her further.

“So, you're the female CEO of a Forbes 500 company? Nice work. That couldn't have been easy.” Tony praised, giving her a salute with his drink.

“It really wasn't.” Natasha admitted. “My parents died when I was nineteen and the board and shareholders were... reluctant to give me the reigns, to say the least. I've been proving their crusty asses wrong ever since.”

“Naturally.” Tony said, beaming at her. “Any siblings?”

Natasha shook her head. “No, though I do have a cousin who loves to give me hell every now and then. You?”

“Twin brother. His name's Greg and he also loves to give me hell. He's been even more insufferable than usual since I joined the Ultimates.”

“The Ultimates?” Natasha asked.

“It's the name of our superhero team.”

“Ah,” Natasha said. “We're called the Avengers on this earth.”

“The Avengers, huh?” Tony said. “So, I take it you're Iron Man, or rather Iron Woman in that group?”

Natasha smiled proudly. “Yes, Iron Woman. I had some heart problems a while back and invented the armor as a type of life support to keep my heart going. Been kicking ass ever since.”

Tony nodded understandingly. “It was cancer for me.” Tony touched his temple. “Inoperable brain tumor. Figured I'd go out with a bang while keeping the world safe rather than dying in hospital bed.”

Natasha's expression became subdued. “How long did they give you?”

Tony shrugged. “Anywhere between six months to a few years.”

“God, I'm so sorry.” Natasha said, eyes sympathetic.

Tony smiled. “Is there any way I can use my sob story to get a pity fuck? It's been a long standing fantasy of mine to sleep with myself.”  
  
"At ease, tiger." She warned, eyes sparkling with amusement. "I'm married."  
  
“Oh.” Tony's smiled dimmed a little bit. “At least one of us is lucky in love. My attempt at marriage didn't go so well."  
  
Natasha eyebrows furled. "What happened?"  
  
"I got engaged to a woman, also named Natasha, actually. She ended up being a Russian spy who was just interested in stealing my money. She killed my butler, Clint's entire family and tried to tear the Ultimates apart. Clint ended up killing her."  
  
Natasha moved a littler closer to him. "I'm sorry."  
  
Tony gave her a self-deprecating smile. “I'm supposed to be a genius, I should've noticed the signs about her sooner. Love makes you blind I suppose.” He said, taking another sip of coke, wishing it was something a bit stronger.  
  
Natasha fiddled with her own drink. "I fell in love with a woman a few years back. Her name was Rumiko. I was planning on proposing to her. Bought her a ring, had it all planned out... She was killed the day before I was going to ask her. She died in my arms because a super villain was trying to get to me."  
  
Tony looked horrified. "That's terrible."  
  
“Yeah.” Natasha agreed quietly, a distant look on her face. “I still miss her sometimes."  
  
Tony gave her a wan smile. "Yeah, I get that." Tony shifted awkwardly and cleared his throat. "You said you were married now? So, I take it you must have found some happiness."

Natasha lips twitched up and she leaned back. “Yeah, I did. A part of me will always love Ru, but I love Steve too. He's my anchor and he really helped me after what happened. I can't imagine my life without him.  
  
Tony's eyes grew wide. "Steve? As in Steve Rogers?”

“Yeah,” Natasha nodded. “So, I take it your world has one too.”

“Yeah, we do. And you married the guy?” Tony asked, still reeling over his counterpart being married to Steve fucking Rogers.

God, he _really_ needed some alcohol.

Natasha let out a snort. “I did and I honestly can't tell if you're more shocked or jealous about it."

It was unnerving just how well she knew him in this small amount of time.

"Let's go with a little bit of both.” Tony said, not even bothering trying to lie to her.

“Why don't you ask him out?”

Tony gave her an incredulous look. “Me? Ask out Steve?” Tony tsked. “I'd get decked in the face before I finished the sentence.”

“Do you two not get along?” Natasha asked.

“We get along fine, but Steve is... Steve. He's an all American manly man and is as heterosexual as they come."  
  
Natasha tapped her fingers against her coke, considering him. "My Steve has been with men before."  
  
Tony raised his eyebrows. "Really?"  
  
Natasha gave him a nod.  
  
"So, realistically, what are my chances of having a threesome with you two then? Sleeping with myself and Steve are both on my fucket list."  
  
Natasha eyes twinkled in amusement. "That's something you'll need to ask Steve."  
  
"Ask me what?" A voice said and then Steve Rogers was entering the room, wearing jeans and a form fitting blue t-shirt.  
  
"The resemblance is positively uncanny." Tony observed, letting out a low whistle.  
  
Natasha just gave Tony a bemused look before turning to Steve. "Steve, this is Tony Stark. He's my male counterpart from Earth 1610."  
  
Tony stood up and held out a hand. "Nice to meet you other Steve."  
  
“You too Tony.” Steve said, shaking his hand and giving Tony an appraising look. “So, how did you end up in our universe?"  
  
Tony shrugged. "No idea. I woke up to your lovely wife holding a gauntlet to my head and asking me a similar question."  
  
Natasha smiled at him unrepentantly.  
  
Tony smiled back at her before turning back to Steve. "Now that we're all acquainted, just what do I have to do to get you to agree to threesome, Steve?"  
  
Steve's started at that. "What?"  
  
"Woman me is hot. You're hot.” Tony explained. “And unlike my Steve, you haven't punched me in the face for suggesting it yet, so I'm already ahead in that regard.”  
  
"Wait, your Steve punched you?" Steve asked, concern overcoming his features.  
  
Tony shook his head quickly. “No, Steve never hit me, though I doubt he would take too kindly to me hitting on him.”

“Why is that?”

“He's straight.”

Steve raised an eyebrow dubiously. “Doubt it.”

"You haven't even met him, darling. He's as straight laced as they come.”

Steve shared a long look with Natasha before turning back to him. “Well, you know him best I suppose.” Steve said with a shrug.

Tony narrowed his eyes at Steve's light tone.

Steve _was_ straight.

He was.

He'd never given an inclination otherwise and as far Tony knew he had only been with women.

Though, the more he thought, the more he supposed it could be possible he wasn't.

Tony rubbed the back of his hand across his mouth as he remembered Steve coming over to his house after Jarvis' funeral. This visit had been completely unprompted and Tony didn't fully remember that entire evening due to the shocking number of martinis he'd imbibed, but he did recall Steve sitting next to him on the couch as he rambled on about nothing and everything. He knew he hadn't been terribly good company and had told Steve so but he had stayed with him anyway. When Tony had woke up the next morning with cottonmouth and a throbbing headache, there had been a blanket over his body and a glass of water on the coffee table.

It may have been nothing, just Steve looking out for his teammate, but the knowing look in this Steve's eyes had him doubting himself.

“Okay, you _may_ be right,” Tony admitted. “But don't look so smug about it. It doesn't suit you.”

Steve's lips quirked up in amusement but he held up his hands in surrender.

Natasha's computer beeped which had her walking over to it, heels clacking across the floor.

“The portal is ready.” Natasha announced.

Tony let out a sigh. “Cockblocked by my own earth.”

Natasha gave him a pitying smile. “Yes, it's positively devastating.”

“A true tragedy.” Tony said with an exaggerated pout. “The multiverse is worse off for it.”

Steve rolled his eyes at them but he was smiling too.

“You know, you could stay a bit longer, if you'd like.” Natasha offered.

Tony looked at the two of them. “The both of you have been lovely, but I should get back before my world falls apart. My stocks have been in free fall after-” Tony shook his head before settling on, “I have to get back.”

Steve frowned at him, probably wondering what he was going to say before he cut himself off, but a subtle touch from Natasha had him keeping his mouth closed.

Natasha stepped forward and pulled him into a hug. “It was nice to meet you, Tony. Please take care of yourself.”

“I will, darling. Make sure you keep Steve out of trouble.”

“I always do.” Natasha said earnestly.

Natasha let him go and turned to the portal platform to make sure everything was all set for dimensional travel while Tony turned to Steve.

Tony was prepared to give Steve a friendly handshake and a brief goodbye but the man had other ideas and Tony was suddenly enveloped in a warm hug.

Tony froze for a moment before wrapping his arms around Steve.

“Make sure you take care of yourself.” Steve said.

Tony felt his lips quirk up in amusement. “Your wife already made me promise that.”

Tony could feel Steve's huff reverberate through his own chest. “Yeah, and if you're anything like her I know you don't always do that.”

Tony didn't say anything in response to that, instead soaking in Steve's warmth. God, if he closed his eyes, he could almost imagine it was his Steve's arms around him holding him close.

“Ready whenever you are, Tony.” Natasha called out.

Tony let go of Steve, fixing him with a smile that Steve returned.

Tony walked over to Natasha who had the portal powered up. Tony peered into it and recognized his sitting room.

“Letting me off right at home, huh?” Tony said.

“It's where the original portal formed that brought you here.” Natasha explained, brushing a strand of her hair out of her eyes.

Tony hummed. “Do you have any idea how it formed?”

Natasha shook her head. “No, but I'll look into it.”

Tony let out a breath, nodding. “Well, seems like this is goodbye. It was wonderful to meet you both.”

“You too, Tony.” Steve said, wrapping an arm around Natasha's waist.

Tony gave them both a wave. “Here goes nothing.”

Tony stepped through the portal and walked right into his sitting room. He turned around to see Natasha and Steve waving at him. He watched as they faded and the portal glimmered out of existence.

Tony closed his eyes and took in the silence of the penthouse. He hadn't gotten around to hiring new help yet and everything looked exactly as he left it. He walked over to the bar and mixed himself a vodka tonic, savoring the bitter flavor on his tongue as he took a long swig.

Glass in hand, he snagged his tablet off the coffee table and checked the date. It was Wednesday evening. That meant he'd only been gone for a few hours. Honestly, nobody had probably noticed his brief world hopping experience, seeing as he had told Pepper he was taking a short leave of absence and things had been decidedly quiet on the Ultimates front.

Tony changed into one of his silk robes and sat down to try and get some work done. He was well into his third glass when he heard a sound of a soft knock on the door. Tony stood up and walked over to the parlor and checked the camera to see who was bothering. He felt a little puzzled when he saw the gruff face of Steve Rogers outside his door.

Tony unlocked and opened the door to greet Steve with a carefree smile. “Hi, Steve. What brings you here today?”

Steve frowned at him. “You haven't been answering your phone all day.”

“Is there an Ultimates emergency?” Tony asked.

Steve shifted, almost like he was nervous. “No.” He settled on.

Tony blinked.

If there wasn't an emergency then why would Steve be at his doorstep looking like that?

Tony opened his mouth to voice that question when-

_Oh._

Steve had been _worried_ about him.

Tony felt something warm blossom in his chest at the thought. Steve had stayed with him after Jarvis' funeral. Steve was here again now because he hadn't been answering his phone.

Tony twirled his glass in his hand and opened the door wider. “Do you want to come in? We could watch some of those soap operas you like so much?”

Steve gave Tony a long look. “Sure.” He said finally before stepping inside.

Tony grinned to himself as he locked the door behind them.

The two of them settled on the couch as Tony queued up the DVR.

As the opening credits played, Tony glanced over at Steve. He noticed Tony looking at him and turned his head.

“Thank you.” Tony said, not quite sure what exactly he was thanking Steve for.

Steve's lips curled up slightly. “You're welcome, Tony.”

The two of them turned back to the tv to watch as Danielle discovered her supposed baby daddy was back from the dead.

Tony felt his eyes grow heavier as they continued to watch. Portal hopping really took a lot of you, who knew?

Tony must have lost some time because suddenly the room was quiet and his eyes were jolting open as he felt the cushions shift. Tony instinctively shot out a hand and grabbed Steve's wrist to prevent him from leaving.

“Stay,” Tony said, unable to keep the pleading note out of his voice.

Steve sat back down and Tony took a chance by resting his head on Steve's shoulder. Steve tensed briefly but didn't push him off. Steve relaxed after a moment and wrapped an arm around Tony's back. Tony shut his eyes and let out a contented sigh.

He heard the tv click on again, but it all was just background noise over the warm presence of Steve.

He thought back to what the other Steve had told him and couldn't help but smile.

Maybe he did have a chance with his Steve after all.


End file.
